illumine

A series of photographs using light and shadow to transform something seen as deformed, ugly, or grotesque into something that radiates beauty.

 Illumine Series, Photography, light & the artist’s hands, 2018-present

“Most subjects photographed are, just by virtue of being photographed, touched with pathos. An ugly or grotesque subject may be moving because it has been dignified by the attention of the photographer. A beautiful subject can be the object of rueful feelings, because it has aged or decayed or no longer exists. All photographs are memento mori. To take a photograph is to participate in another person's (or thing's) mortality, vulnerability, mutability.”

-Susan Sontag, On Photography

Having been diagnosed with two major chronic autoimmune illnesses by the ages of 19 and 21 respectively, my hand’s anatomical structures have been grossly deformed over two decades. Both illnesses attack the joints throughout the body, however, the damage is most visible on my hands. I spent years hiding my hands in pockets, behind my back, under extra long sleeves, embarrassed by the bumpy forms that used to be my knuckles and my crooked fingers.

An artist-peer empathetically pointed out these hands I detest are the same hands I use to make beautiful things, and thereby are beautiful by association. I began to challenge myself to create images that are aesthetically appealing, using something (my hands) that by society’s standards, are unappealing. Using light, shadow, my hands, and photography, I aim to explore various ways of how my actual physical hands as they are can create beauty.